Dumbledore has such a crush on Gryffindor it’s not even funny. Gives them enough house points, including arbitrary ones made up on the fly, just to make them win over Slytherin. Gives Harry and friends ice cream cones whenever they break a school rule. Probably looks through yearbooks with them and draws zits on the Slytherin students.
Honestly, if I were a student at Hogwarts, I would be able to tell that I was in a fictional story because everything of interest always happens to Harry. I’d avoid becoming associated with him because he’s obviously the main character, and supporting characters have the greatest chance of being killed off. I’m Hufflepuff, man, enough badger blood has already been shed.